WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME- A WIFE PROVING HER WORTHINESS

As I have been getting more accustomed to being a wife, mother, and cultivate a career in the NYC, somewhere between becoming a mother and trying to reconnect to who I am or was or want to be has converted me from a balanced type B to a Type A personality.

I do NOT like the Type A per se, but I have noticed that I may have become a slightly more aggressive person lately and with all the occupy wall street people out there, I do not think that is the best way to be.

I remember when I was 21 and REALLY thought I knew everything, and I had my first job in television production and I would notice the producers were always seeming stressed and frightful about EVERY SINGLE THING. HIGH STRUNG to the fullest. I just couldn't understand why in the world anyone would need to be that way. I mean Que Sera Sera whatever will be will be. I was just going with the flow. I had absolutely NO idea why those ppl were like that until now.

I don't know if it is because of my motherly instinct, or because I am trying to keep up with the way I was before I became a mother or what. All I know is it is like a switch went off and all the sudden I am doing extra or just doing too much, and it has truly been causing major problems and challenging me!

The first time I saw Kimora Lee Simmons I knew exactly what kind of wife/mother I wanted to be. I wanted to be a good mother and wife but I wanted to take care of business, and make my own money all while still looking good!





A lot of people I know can not stand Kimora because she is so EXTRA. She is dramatic, over the top and slightly out of control. However, I see a woman who knows what she wants and is independent.

I can cook a gourmet meal, but I don't want to do it everyday. I want a clean home, but I don't want to be a maid. I want to be a good mommy, but I don't want to become a slob and I surely do not want my daughter outside without her hair combed and a cute outfit on that matches!

For some that may be doing too much and to be honest, I have found myself becoming overwhelmed and I came to the point where I felt myself becoming much like Beyonce in the "Why Don't You Love Me" video where Beyonce accurately again depicted exactly how I feel across the board. In the video, Beyonce is trying to do everything- be the butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker, fix the car, water the garden, and be sexy and cute while she is doing it all. Nevertheless, as hard as she is trying to be impressive, she is making a mess, nearly burning down the house and whatnot. She is not necessarily doing it all that well. Then she is on the phone crying about "Why don't you love me when I make me so damn easy to love?" Yep... That is pretty much it.

Meanwhile, my husband who loves me, respects me, and I think mostly understands me in all my incredibly interesting ways has done everything right on the straight and narrow. His achievements and credentials have set a standard that I feel I have to catch up with and while I am proud it became frustrating to me that he could be so perfect and I can be such a HOT MESS!

Kind of like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck. Daffy would try to prove how he could out smart or out do Bugs meanwhile bugs would lay back and chew on a carrot and take his time and accomplish the goal without a hitch!

I realize that I am blessed. However I can't give up and let my high goals and expectations take to me a level that is not me. I know who I am, and what I can do. I do not need to prove anything to anyone. All I need to do is relax and be.

God has and will always take care of me but I have to admit faith is an easier said than done occurrence at times. To have faith you need to have trust and lets be honest it is getting harder and harder to trust people these days.

One day I was in church and this woman sitting next to me leaned over and said "I've been there. You are doing a good job, just hang in there." That is when I realized, no matter how crazy I think things are getting or how much weight I feel is on me, or how much I think I am failing, I am not alone, I am not the only one, and there is always someone who has been there or is going through way worse than me.


This is not an overnight thing...It is a process and life is just plain difficult sometimes, but I know we are on our way and we are going to make it. The main thing I had to let go of way pleasing everyone and worrying about what they think. All I can hold on to is me. So as I balance being a wife, a mom, and career woman, I just smile, breathe, and do the best I can however I can. Besides, I am not alone. There is always GOD .....and my wonderful husband too!

For Better or Worse- LOVE- is ALL that matters

When people get married and take their vows, "For better or worse, through sickness and in health, etc. etc," it may seem like just some words you say on a day you dress up in front of people just to at the end of the day say "I'se married now". Millions of people have said those words or something like those words for centuries. Who knows what it truly means until you are actually married and really realize that those words were really where the rubber hits the road.

One thing I can vividly remember is the day my husband and I had our wedding in my hometown. We had already had a small intimate ceremony on 8/8/08, but when we had the ceremony with the guests and the friends one thing I will never forget is how my husband looked into my eyes and said his vows (again). We had already been married and living together for sometime in NYC. We had gone through the preliminary changes of what it was to merge together as one so rapidly and that was challenging enough.... But, when he looked into my eyes I can not even express the way that it permeated me to the point where I could feel his love for me down into my spirit and my soul. It was beyond anything I had ever felt before. I think many people must feel that they have a special love and that their relationship is rare but I know I am definitely one of those people. It is such an incredible experience to be married and when you go through the turbulence, and trials of life together, that is when the true testimony happens. It is a moment when you have to know if you have a love that is so real that can stand the test of time and the trials and obstacles life throws your way.

Some months ago a song came out called 1+1. I am sure a lot of people think I am all about Beyonce as much as I post her on this blog, but I can't help it if the girls songs are on point with how I feel about things. I am sure there are other songs out there that could have the same meaning, but I digress. I remember when I first heard 1+1 on American Idol and I felt the chills go through me as she sang and expressed a love that whoever wrote the song could only know by experiencing a raw, real, and deep devotion and true testament of love.

The words of the song start off:

"If I ain't got nothin, I know that I got YOU"
and "If I ain't got something (I don't give a damn)
'Cause I got it with you
I don't know much about algebra (but I know)
One plus one equals two
And it's me and you
That's all we'll have when the world is through"

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW~

So true. All I can truly say is that there must have been something in my life I did right to be married to a man who has loved me honestly and truly beyond my faults. When I was super fat after being pregnant, when I wasn't that cute, when I had an attitude, when I was a hot mess and just didn't feel like doing a single thing, when I wanted to put my career ahead of everything at the expense of my own health and to the detriment of my everything I held dear to me. The list goes on and on and on. Oh trust me there are times when I have been challenged to love him too, but that is what real love is. I think marriage is how you find out how much GOD truly loves us. In spite of our issues and mess he looks past our faults as see's what we need and loves us unconditionally.

You have to be grateful to know when you have a real love.

It is easy to love someone when everything is perfect and going well, but not so much when times get tough and challenges arise. Those are the times when love is needed the most, but it isn't as available.

All I know is one day I had a sleepless night and all I could do was realize and be grateful for the love I had right next to me.

I got up and just started playing songs and tears started flowing because I realized that the only thing that matters is love and it is the vows that help you realize that when they become real through the struggle of life or the inner struggle with your own self discovery or development. Then is when you can fully understand what love sincerely is and that is how you find out that nothing in this entire WORLD matters more than love.

Happy Anniversary Chris and Mari 8/8/08

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I WAS HERE part 1

I recently told someone that I believed that as you live your life, you should live a life of purpose. Every decision you make should be with the thought of how that decision will affect your future and that it will reflect what kind of legacy you will leave when you die.

There is a famous poem call "Time" that says:

"I have only just a minute. Only sixty seconds in it. Forced upon me, can't refuse it. Didn't seek it, didn't choose it. But it's up to me to use it. I must suffer if I lose it. Give account if I abuse it, Just a tiny little minute but eternity is in it."

It is very important who you choose as your friends, what career path you choose, what school you attend, who you marry if you decide to marry at all etc. Some decisions have a greater impact than others, but for the most part everything you decide has a larger result that will impact your life to some degree.

Some people are only afraid of the choices they make because they fear "judgment day" (when they have to face GOD at the end of their life), and they want to make sure they go to heaven. I however,also happen to take into account the time before you get to judgment day when you have to deal with the repercussions and the outcome of the decisions you make in your life here on earth. I try to live my life this way because I learned very early on that the decisions you make you will have to account for.

You see, I was born to a woman who fell in love with a man she had a relationship with. Like so many women in her same shoes, she realized way too late that this man did not feel for her the same way she felt about him. So, on a hot summer day in Chicago, Illinois my mother hailed a cab and on August 7th, 1978 at 12:07 PM she gave birth to her baby girl.

Heartbroken and disillusioned, my mother decided to have me anyway even though she knew that there would be a blank space on my birth certificate when it came to the category of father and that she would probably have to raise me on her own.

I am sure that the coming weeks were not easy raising a child alone and trying to hold down a career in a big city. She found herself burning the candle at both ends and did all she could to be both mother and father and taking responsibility for her decisions.

Ultimately, my mother knew she couldn't do it all alone and moved back to her hometown where her family was in hopes that she could rely on them for support. My mother got married and spent the rest of her time as most mothers do making sure I did my best in school while developing culture and character. She took me on travels around the world; Spain, France, England, Martinique, Mexico, Canada, etc. She taught me foreign languages and we had many adventures. She made sure that I developed well and that I went to college.

As I went through life with an amazing grandfather as well as a father who ultimately adopted me, I didn't really miss knowing my "real" father although I was often curious about who he was and if I would meet him one day or even if he thought enough of me to try to find me.

At 14 years old my mother even took me back to Chicago to tell me the story of my existence. As she told me the story of a young woman developing her career while falling for a young impressive executive man climbing the corporate ladder tears flowed down my face. On that day I made a promise to myself to never fall in love with someone who would not love and care for me in a special way. It was a story that kept me from a lot of heartbreak and saved me from teen pregnancy.

As an adult woman, I could not shake the curiosity of finding my biological father. I had to know who he was and what he was up to and if he even wondered or even thought about me. Did he even care that I was alive? Did he know that I even existed? Did he wonder where I was? Was he looking for me like I was looking for him? Or did it even matter?




I have often thought about my life and what it even meant in the grand scheme of things. I have always been a champion of young people and a fighter for the poor and under served communities. I founded PEACE TV at 22 years old and fought with the elitist and politicians who could have cared less about the urban communities plight(still do). I worked for causes and companies that I was passionate about and gave my all in every job I committed myself to. All of the things I have done to do my part in "saving the world" or being an agent of positive social change didn't quite matter if at the end of the day I felt the pain and emptiness of not knowing why and how and who was responsible for why I was even alive (besides GOD of course). I know that through my struggles there are probably a lot of people who I might have touched or meant something to, but in my own life there has always been this longing to know or belong and realize ALL of who I am.





Today as a wife and mother of a child who will be ONE next week (I can't believe it!) I can say that it touches my heart to experience the love and relationship with my daughter has with her father. He loves her unconditionally and all that matters in the world to her is her "DA DA". I am so pleased to know that no matter what happens to me, my daughter will have what I could have only dreamed to have with my biological father. That she will not have to wonder about her father, or question his love for her, or worry about him not being there to support her needs or development in any way.



Yesterday, my life long quest of searching for my father ended at about 12 noon at the Plaza hotel Palm Court restaurant. When I saw him I instantly saw where I got my eyes, complexion, face shape and jaw. I asked him questions and he asked me questions and together we made discoveries. I left feeling glad that I decided to meet him.

Going forward is the trickier thing, because now, I need to understand what this means to my future.

It means one thing to my husband and daughter and a whole other thing to my mother who may have to somewhat re-live her past pain. The children of my biological father who have no idea that I even exist will have to find out about how this all came to be and last but not least I have to consider the father who gave me his name, put me through college, walked me down the aisle, and married me. The man who actually was responsible for another man's responsibility.

All I know is that GOD allowed me to come to be for a reason and my mother decided to allow me to live. As long as I am here I plan to make the best of things.

I was here...
I lived, I loved
I was here...
I did, I've done, everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I will leave my mark so everyone will know
I was here...

YOU'RE A NON FACTOR!

AUGH!!! Ok. So, just like millions of women right now my guilty pleasure television show of the season is "Basketball Wives" on VH1.

It is a show started by Shaunie O'Neal ( Shaquille O'Neal's ex- wife), where she and maybe two other people were even truly a "basketball wife" on the show. However, the reason people even watch this show is to get a glimpse into the lifestyle of women who marry/date/or become a baby mama to these basketball players. The result is a LOT of drama.

Apparently, in this world you are defined by who you are married to/ are dating/ or have a baby by, what designer clothes and shoes you wear, what car you drive, how many red carpet events you go to etc. etc. or you "ARE A NON-F'N FACTOR". Meaning you are useless, irrelevant, unnecessary, and so forth.

Having worked in the music industry I know that world all too well. I was up close and personal with it. People would have probably clamored to get the kind of opportunities I have had. To be in the room with superstars and see the glitz and glamorous behind the scenes things. However, that is another story for another day.

Now, my husband who is not a basketball player attended a red carpet event in one of my jobs. I will never forget it because everybody who was ANYBODY was there! Alicia Keys, Le Bron James, Donald Trump, Serena Williams, Chrisette Michelle, etc. etc. etc. You name it, they were there. So my husband comes and I am introducing him to some of these celebrities and he is like "Oh. Hi. How are you doing?" in a real non-challant way and I'm like "really?"

Apparently to him they were a NON FACTOR...

Now, I am not saying that I wanted him to be like OOOOHHHH, AAAHHHHH, OMG! But I was like you get a chance to get up close and personal with people you only see on T.V. and it's as if it's nothing.

Now personally, I am super social especially when I have a job to do so I made my rounds and connects for my job. However, I know by being in that world that it is mostly smoke and mirrors and everything is not always what it seems.

I am unfortunately reminded of the smoke and mirrors every time I watch "Basketball Wives".

I remember watching the first season when Evelyn Lozada talked about how she was in a relationship for ten years and was engaged only to end up not making it to the alter. She said that she had this basketball boyfriend, a nice house to live in, a nice car to drive, and lots of Louis Vuitton, but she lacked love. Now she is with Chad Ochocinco.

At the time, I thought that was the truest statement I may have ever heard from her. I am not saying that some of these women don't truly fall in love with a super rich successful man and vice versa, but statistically what you end up hearing about are a lot of stories about fame and fortune gone wrong.

You see these super gorgeous women with these unattractive men with position and money and you kind of have a gut instinct on why they at least seem to be together. It is a trade off. Trophy wife for a glamorous lifestyle. What's love got to do with it really?

You might see the couples that really may have married for love only to have the baller husband get insecure(As I feel in my opinion may have been the case of Jennifer and Eric Williams). Basically the baller is fully aware that if his sition and/or money was gone the beautiful woman he wakes up to every morning probably wouldn't even be there... why? Because he would be a NON FACTOR like he was before the fame and fortune! So they end up cheating and doing whatever sabotaging the relationship.

Or there is the story of the girls the up and coming baller really loved in high school and got married to only to allow the pressures of the superficial world for which they live in, to blow up in their faces and cause them to question if the person they actually love is good enough for them by the Hollywood "red carpet" standards to be with only for them to needlessly end what was actually real.

Either case, it makes for an interesting life, or in this situation a television show with great ratings!

Personally, at this time in my life, I do not believe that who you hang with, what label is on your clothes, etc. defines you unless you have absolutely no substance. I only think those things can enhance you and that they attract people who want what you have or what you are perceived to have. Furthermore, if we are to keep it all the way honest most of the people that look like they have so much, really don't have nothing at all. I met someone recently who just meeting them you would never know they have a yearly salary of $800,000.00 and that doesn't even include the perks.

Since I was 14 years old and knew what being a virtuous woman was about via Proverbs 31:10-31, I knew I wanted a marriage of real love, mutual respect, grand aspirations, character, loyalty, etc. I feel I was blessed to achieve that.

Furthermore, being married takes work including understanding, dedication and unconditional love. Regular marriages alone are down by 40% when in the 1950's they were 78%! Mix those numbers in with trying to have a successful marriage with the regular normal pressures of life, extenuating family, and God forbid the sports and/ or music industry.

I read an editorial called "Weddings Vs. Marriage" http://uptownmagazine.com/2011/01/weddings-vs-marriage/ by Star Jones when she became editor at large of UPTOWN Magazine. She said she had this beautiful fabulous over the top wedding at a big huge historically respected church in NYC with all the trimmings. Every celebrity you could think of was there and the entire world knew all about her nuptials via Internet,magazines, and television. She said she even had a handsome groom and she was on top of the world. However, she said that she would have traded the entire affair in for one thing that would have meant more to her than all of that and all the gold in China. That one thing was true love. Sometimes the best things in life are free.

To some woman having everything means marrying a baller so they can be a FACTOR by certain standards and some women think that what really matters is having something real. I am the latter. What good is a dead end career if it is superficial and has no relevancy to your real life except stress and confusion? What good is a fake/bad romance with all the money and position in the world when you are left to feel empty inside? Does that make you a FACTOR and/or Relevant? The appearance of success? What does it profit a man to gain the world and lose his soul?

Some people want it all but I don't want nothing at all if ain't real baby- Cause ain't nothing like the real thing..... Anything that is not real in my life at the end of the day is a NON FACTOR B!

That's my word!

Venus- AKA Mari

P.S. I am looking forward to hearing your thoughts....

MY FUNNY VALENTINE

Ok. I know what you're thinking..... Valentine's day was quite some time ago to be writing about it now.

I do understand that, but I am just now getting the time to sit down, and share my story with you. Calia keeps us on our toes and when we are not on our toes we are at work. That's how it goes down when your a parent in the NYC.

Oh well, but enough of that. My last post was about how we did the Dr. Oz show and my journey to getting healthy and losing weight post pregnancy. So far that has been going good. I am able to fit some of my old clothes again, but I still have a way to go. I am on Weight Watchers and it has literally changed my life! I am starting to post video's to my Facebook page about my experiences and we are going back to the Dr. Oz show this month. So we will keep you posted on that soon enough.

Right now, I want to tell you a personal story about Valentine's Day weekend and tell you why this Valentine's day was so extra special.

Last year on Valentine's day I was pregnant with Calia. About three months to be exact. I had just left a position at a celebrity organization and my husband and I were planning to spend a nice romantic/ sentimental inexpensive evening together. After all, we had a lot to celebrate. Another year of happily married life, and the expectation of a baby on the way. We felt truly blessed.

Just weeks before I had made a decision to leave this job and change my focus for a while. Although I admit it was a tough decision I know I made the right decision. However, I will never forget the day before Valentine's day I received the nastiest most bizarre e-mail I ever read before in my life. It was sent by " Sasha Fierce" and the subject was " Ugly B*tch". To this day I will never know why I even opened the e-mail up. I guess I was curious to see what this was about. I mean was it spam? Who would send spam like that? Beyonce??? Or some psycho wanna be Beyonce???? I didn't really know.

So I opened the e-mail and it was definitely meant for me since my name was in the e-mail spelled correctly and everything. So then I was really like....OK. As I read the message I felt like I had been stabbed in the chest because the words were so hate-filled. It basically said negative things about me but then this person cursed my unborn child. That set me off. I was numb and frozen for a min and then I gave it to GOD.

I must say, when someone goes to the extent of going out of their way to disrespect and curse something that is a precious gift- an innocent life, that is beyond imaginable. It was so vivid to me because it took a lot for me to block that situation from my mind. I mean my child wasn't even born yet. We didn't even know that we were having a little girl yet. It was completely disturbing and hurtful. Whoever this was knew I was having a baby and they were really trying to get at me for some reason. I mean I must have really upset them somehow. I went over it again and again trying to figure out who was possessed enough to do something like that.

Once I got over it, I managed to go on and enjoy Valentine's day, but I never forgot about that incident.

As you know, when Calia was born we were so happy and so thrilled that we had received such a precious gift. One thing we had decided to do was to have her blessed at our church.

Personally, I wanted to have her blessed when she was still quite small because the pastor lifts her up and I wanted to be sure she was light enough to be lifted up. The other issue was having family and friends there to be apart of the event so we could share in it together and enjoy it all. We wanted a time when all who wanted to come would be able to. My husband and I attend a historical and internationally known church in Harlem. We knew whatever we decided to do, we would have to take a class to gain the full understanding of what the blessing ceremony was about. Therefore, we had to factor that as well into the equation of the time frame that Calia would be blessed.

Eventually, it came to be that the designated day Calia would be blessed would be the day before Valentine's day.

I really didn't realize it until all the sudden as the date approached I was reminded of the message that was sent to me on that same exact day the previous year. So as you can see, when we marched down the isle with Calia in her blessing gown with one of her Godmother's and the Reverend lifted her high in the air for her blessing it was like healing water flowed over my soul.

It was so amazing although I must admit Calia was miserable in that get-up. When it was over she was ready to take that contraption of a dress OFF!

It was truly a lovely blessed day! I was so touched to see the friends of mine that came out to share the moment with us and Calia's two grandmothers came up and spent time. After the ceremony, we went out to dinner where another friend sang her heart out with a live band and to this day, I think it was one of the most special times I have had in my life.

Now. when it comes to Valentine's day.... that's the funny thing. You know that's when you want to get all lovey dovey smoochy smoochy. But I can't say it went down like that at all!!! First of all, Valentine's day when you are a parent can be a whole other thing! LOL.

My husband had flowers delivered to my job and I had a special custom made basket sent to his ( wink wink) LOL. But with baby in family in the house all I can remember is sipping rose and watching the reunion of the Real Housewives of Atlanta and laughing hysterically at NE NE saying "Bloop Bloop Bloop Bloop" LOL! HAHAHAHA!

So there you go!

That is the story of my blessed and funny Valentine. Never a dull moment. Well. until next time which is the best time!

Love,

Mari

FLAWS AND ALL

WELL!!! Happy New year People! Obviously we've been a little busy over the holidays! But the Holidays are such a time for togetherness, reflection, and love.

As many of you now know, I recently went on the Dr. Oz show with Chris and Calia. That was fun and interesting all at the same time. I was majorly embarrassed to discover that I weighed more than I thought my body was capable of!!! I mean when Dr. Oz said what I weighed and then said " You are obese" I wanted to pass out!!! I NEVER weighed that much before, and never thought I would/could!! But when you keep eating in excess whatever you want and you use pregnancy as an excuse...that is what happens!!

Having trouble losing your baby weight? Dr. Oz has a diet plan that will help you slim down without going hungry. Learn how losing just a few pounds...

As I watched the show I remember just thinking, I know ppl from college who saw it were probably like DAAAAAAAANG along with my other friends, haters and whatnot. But I am one to keep it real. So it is what it is.

I went on the show so I could do something about it. I mean they literally called me out of the blue on the VERY day I told my husband I was committed to changing my life/ health/ body. I literally couldn't take it ANY MORE It's one thing to say I need to lose weight and a whole other thing to actually put action behind it and do what you gotta do. So needless to say, this situation makes me HAVE to do what I gotta do. I cant go back there in the same or similar condition!!!!! I have something to prove now!! Besides, After Calia and I met Jennifer Hudson, and saw how good she looked I was really energized!!



Seriously though, since I had the baby I have been through a bit of an identity crisis. This is not something just unique to me. My life changed, my body changed, everything changed in one instant!!! Thousands of mothers go through this. It is a growth and adjusting process. I love being a mom, and my baby was worth EVERY decision I made to make sure she would be a healthy happy baby. But having a baby is NO JOKE! It's a new year and I am a 32 year old woman re-defining/adjusting into who I am now that I am a mother and a wife and a woman getting back into career building mode. That is a trip! I am sometimes in awe of how far I have come in my life and then I shudder to think... what's next......

I have to admit I feel incredibly blessed. Blessed to have a beautiful healthy baby girl that is growing and developing in amazing ways, and truly blessed to have such a loving wonderful and supportive husband.

I often think back to my Hampton University days and how I knew in my heart when I met Chris he was the one, but the fact is that years later I still can't believe that we got together and are where we are right now at this moment in time. As parents and as a loving married couple making it happen in the big city of New York.




One thing I must really say about marriage is when you make up in your mind to be with someone, there is very little you can hide when they are the first person you see in the morning and the last person you see at night. Everything that you used to have that was private is known and seen between the two of you. They see the train wreck in the morning, the mood swings in the afternoon, when you look your worst, when you are your best- THEY SEE .....EVERYTHING! Flaws and ALL. There is no hiding a THING.

Through my pregnancy when I was blowing up like a balloon, he treated me like a queen. When I had the baby and still wasn't quite back to normal he kept encouraging me and letting me know I was still the love of his life. Every Flaw and issue I have had he has shown me so much love and that is amazing. Now everyone may say.. that's what its SUPPOSED to be like. I agree that it is, but I have learned in life that things are not always what they are supposed to be and all that glitters is not gold. But when you get someone who will catch you when you fall, respect you flaws and all that is a feeling a million bucks can't buy.

I recently read an article by Star Jones who is the new editor in chief of UPTOWN magazine. She said she had a fabulous and fierce wedding down to the designer gown, the cathedral church, the celebrity all star attendees, and a who's who wedding party. But she said ..... she would trade it all in for a marriage full of love that was built to last. It's all good when times are great and going good, but when times get hard and everything is not perfect and beautiful the question is will it go the distance?

When you find that you are no longer a size 5, and that you are looking less and less like you did at 19 and 20 something when you started dating, and you know for a fact that your husband is still loving you despite the beautiful available and sexy women in the city of 8 million ppl, that is what you call priceless.

I have come to realize that there are few things in life that really matter at the end of the day. It's not celebrity, status, money, keeping up appearances, or keeping up with the Jones'. It's keeping it real with yourself and doing what you need to do to be where you want to be. It's building a solid foundation and a legacy for your children and accomplishing that by keeping God in the front and center of your life because it is through him that ALL things are possible. After all, he is the original one who loves us flaws and all. Although we don't deserve it his love is unconditional!

So this New Year I realize how far I have come and where I need to go. Being a good mother, wife, losing weight and getting my other flaws in order. I will never be perfect, but it is all coming together bit by bit, piece by piece, and day by day--- and it's all good!