LOVE.... WHAT IS IT?

Mari(Venus)

So I feel like starting with a Timbaland quote " It's been a long time, we shouldn't have left you with out a dope...." lol you know the rest. OK. OK that was reaching but... saying that to say being married in NYC life can be busy and so we are playing catch up on the blog. But you know, there is soooooooooo much stuff to talk about when it comes to relationships, marriage, especially love!! On the daily I write a blog in my head about what I am experiencing because it's almost like you have to be there to understand. We started this experiences to give people the scoop on what it is like to take that major step in a big city. But there is so much to tell. So, I have decided to start with the thing called LOVE.

Now obviously love is hard to describe... I mean in all actuality it is an experience that gives you a feeling and people react to it in different ways. Depending on your point of view or your age you may feel love is different from how I would describe it, but there are concrete definitions of this phenomenon called love.

I mean but really.. what is it?

People have different expectations when it comes to love... They think it is just about sex like if they are sprung on someone or if someone is just fine that's what turns them on (which by the way is why you have so many situations where various people marry a trophy for looks and then there is nothing there when the looks go away)...Some People get confused when it comes to realize the difference between love, lust, and infatuation. That is why understanding the difference is so important.

For example when I was younger my clique of girlfriend and I thought we would love a particular type. He had to be fine, built, and have money, and status- he had to be "cool". Then I grew and matured and realized there was more to the equation than that. It became a situation of a more mature definition love. That meant he had to be intelligent, be able to verbally stimulate my mind, have a life plan, respect me, he had to also be understanding, real, someone that could make me laugh and most importantly someone I could be myself with. Someone who shared my values and ideals and most of all reverenced GOD. But it takes experience, heart break, and whatnot to figure it out. You could go through some real bull crap before you get to the real deal.

What I learned about love I learned from my family and especially my grandfather. My Grandfather- Adam Benjamin Thompson aka PAPI never EVER told anyone as far as I know that he loved them. At least he never told me (except one day he did but that is another story for another time). However, I knew my grandfather loved me because of his actions! He always had my back. He fed me, clothed me, gave me whatever I needed when I needed it (sometimes that means he spoiled me but whatever!). He was always there for me. That is how I literally learned that actions speak louder than words from PAPI. My mother was much different. She told you she loved you at least ten times a day, and would give an over abundance of hugs and kisses. So, I became a combination of both.

Now, my husband is the ultimate depiction of love to me right now because despite the fact that I am a big bellied pregnant beast that snores so loud he can barely get a wink of rest, he still tells me I am beautiful, sexy, and helps cook and clean when I can't even think to lift a pot or pan. It kinda makes me feel bad sometimes, but I am grateful for what I have.

There is a book out now called "The Five Languages of Love" by Dr. Gary Chapman. It talks about how we all have a different ways of expressing and showing our love to one another, and if we don't understand how to show love in the right way to the people we re in a relationship with..... it can be a bust! It gives an assessment and a breakdown on what it really is to show and speak the language of love. It even tells you what your style of love is so you can know how you operate.

When people try to define love they often quote the bible scripture from 1st Corinthians... love is patient love is kind. etc. but there are MANY scriptures about love and some of them even get sexual.... so I am going to end here by posting these scriptures, but I want to continue this and find out what you think love is truly about.

Genesis 29:20
So Jacob worked seven years to pay for Rachel. But his love for her was so strong that it seemed to him but a few days. (NLT)

Proverbs 5:19
A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love. (NIV)

Proverbs 10:12
Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs. (NIV)

Proverbs 13:24
Those who love their children care enough to discipline them. (NLT)

Proverbs 15:17
A bowl of vegetables with someone you love is better than steak with someone you hate. (NLT)

Proverbs 17:9
Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends. (NLT)

Proverbs 17:17
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. (NIV)

Proverbs 30:18-19
There are three things that amaze me—
no, four things that I don’t understand:
how an eagle glides through the sky,
how a snake slithers on a rock,
how a ship navigates the ocean,
how a man loves a woman. (NLT)

Song of Solomon 1:2
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— for your love is more delightful than wine. (NIV)

Song of Solomon 2:16
My lover is mine, and I am his. (NLT)

Song of Solomon 4:10
How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride! How much more pleasing is your love than wine, and the fragrance of your perfume than any spice! (NIV)

Song of Solomon 8:6
Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. (NIV)

Song of Solomon 8:7
Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned. (NIV)

John 15:13
Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. (NIV)

1 Corinthians 13:1-8a and 13
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails....And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. (NIV)

Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. (NIV)

Ephesians 5:33
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (NIV)

Colossians 3:14
And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. (NIV)

1 Peter 4:8
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. (NIV)

1 John 3:16
This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. (NIV)

1 John 3:18
Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. (NIV)

1 John 4:8
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. (NIV)

1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. (NIV)