Labor Pains

So Since my wonderful husband got to write his account of the day our beautiful baby girl came into the world... It's my (Miss Venus) turn. Afterall, it is my baby's 1 week birthday. As I am on the mend, let me start by saying I DON'T KNOW HOOOOOW IN THIS WORLD THESE YOUNG WHIPPER SNAPPER TEENIE BOPPERS POP THESE KIDS OUT LIKE IT'S NOTHING!

I mean really, when I started feeling the REAL contractions that make you feel like you need to take a BIG HUGE shadubie of your life I realized that GOD was really mad at Eve for eating that apple.... This is truly brutal punishment every woman has to face all because of her AND I HAD AND EPIDURAL PPL!!!

So, it was Wednesday, August 11th my husband and I were sitting down watching " The Game". He was fresh out the shower cracking up at the show and I was texting on my phone to a friend that was hoping for me to have the baby early so I could get out of my misery. The baby was due August 22nd so I technically had about 11 more days to go. As I was telling her I was going to march up the steps the next day I felt a big POP in my belly. I was like OMG... What was that, then I felt fluid coming, I raced to the bathroom and clear liquid comes out. At this time I hear Chris on the phone talking to his mom and I am like- " Um.. Chris I think my water broke!" He then puts his mom( who is a nurse) on speaker and she advises us to call the doctor.

We call the doctor and he tells us to come in right away. Now, I am calm during this time because 1, I am not feeling any pain and 2 I knew from watching Kourtney Kardashian give birth on her show that I had many hours before the baby was going to come out.

But we grabbed our pre-packed bags, some towels and get to the doctors office.

The assistants at the office were surprised that I was so calm. We sat down in the lobby and OMG this random guy starts having a looooooong discussion with my husband which by now I am getting the start of the contractions and I am in pain and I just want to tell this man to PLEASE stop talking my husbands head off because I am about to die of pain! But I guess in his own way, he was trying to get our mind off things, but sigh- anyway, right before the man almost got his head ripped off the doctor calls us back and confirms that I am in labor and my water broke.....As the water starts pouring allllll over the floor!

Now the fun REALLY starts as my husband takes me to the hospital and gets a wheel chair for me then proceeds to use me and the wheel chair as a bulldozer to run down anyone in our way. LOL I think we ran over about three ppl.

So I get to the maternity ward and there are about 5 women in labor right in the hallway. Chris had to run home to get some other things and pick my mom up from the airport right in time for the baby to come. My doctor called me in and must have some clout because they take me to a delivery room right away in room number 8. As soon as I get there I encounter a nurse from Hell. She seemed determined to make my first child delivery a horrifying and uncomfortable experience.

She wouldn't let me go to the bathroom, she asked me a million ridiculous questions with an attitude questions such as ( Is there anything you want to tell the social worker?) I wanted to say lady I don't know who you think I am, but I am NOT THE ONE TODAY! Moreover, she wanted to talk about how I was alone and even though I told her my husband was coming she just smirked and then proceeded to tell me that I could not get any pain medication ( epidural) yet... Just as I was about to kill her, my husband comes in to save the day. I gave him the signal and he knew the deal. But God intervened by sending us a WONDERFUL nurse five mins later who undid all the horror this ridiculous woman put us through.

After those shananagans our experience was beautiful....especially when I got my meds!!! I can't explain it, but when they gave me that shot I felt like I was floating on air. It was clear as the evening came about, that our baby was now going to take her time.

Long story short it took nearly 24 hours from the time we got to the hospital on Wednesday for our little girl to arrive on Thursday, August 12th at 1808 hours (6:08) on the 6th floor in room 8 for our baby girl to arrive.It;s hard to believe that just the week before I celebrated my birthday 8/7 and we celebrated our anniversary 8/8. We have truly been blessed.

I thank GOD for my wonderful supportive husband who was by my side the entire time we delivered our beautiful little girl!

Daddy's Little Girl..Ain't No Stopping Her Now

Well the day that we have been waiting for is now upon us.

It all started with Mari sitting on the couch watching The Game and me fresh out the shower. I came to the living room, sat down for five minutes laughed at a few silly scenes, talking on the phone with my mother and then Mari says, “I think my water broke…oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh.” I was looking for a tsunami but that didn’t happen it just came down as trickles. So, I’m in the dark trying to figure out if this is really happening Mari is confused because she is uncertain if the water really broke how it was supposed to break Mari runs to the bathroom my mother is saying, “call the doctor, go see the doctor and tell him her water may have broke.” –thank you mom ;-). We grab bags and towels and head to the OB-GYN. He checks her out and says, “It’s happening from here I want you guys to head to the hospital and I’ll see you there.” We followed the doctor’s orders.

I took Mari to the hospital and wheeled her upstairs to the birthing unit. Ran back down to the car and drove home. I went to the Caridad to grab some food. Made it home to drop the car off and took a cab back to the hospital. As I rode in the cab I called some family and friends to let them know that it was going down –literally. Funny thing is some of my friends knew the news before I even opened my mouth. For example, I call my homeboy Jason and greet him with,” yeah man it looks like the baby girl is going to be here early tomorrow morning only for him to respond with ‘yeah, I know I saw Mari’s status on Facebook saying that her water broke’. Now how crazy is that? Wifey is sitting in the hospital hallway giving a John Madden play by play on her phone…stealing my thunder. Technology what are you gonna do?

Hours later

Owwwwww! That one belonged to me. Mari just squeezed the hell out of my hand because a contraction hit her. Mari asks, “Can I have some drugs NOW!” I’m looking at my hand ready to ask the same question. The doctor obliges her request. While they administer the epidural I have to leave the room. When I came back to the room and looked at Mari she looks like she can be the third wheel in a Cheech and Chong movie. The only thing missing was her saying to me in a raspy voice, “Now, that’s some good s@#*!” Drugs, drugs, drugs bad yet so good.

One whole day later

Finally, Mari has dilated to the needed 10 centimeters. Our doctor has been called and minutes later he is joining us in the delivery room. Because of my numerous years of watching television I feel that I am more than adequate to offer my assistance, “Come on baby push, push, puuuuuush!” Maybe I overstepped my bounds when I told the doctor I could grab an extra set of scrubs and some latex gloves, but I just felt the need to show that I didn’t want to cheer from the sidelines ‘put me in the game coach!’ I brought my cooking apron, spatula, and Pam grease because I had been planning to deliver our baby okay, okay, okay, maybe I didn’t do all that but basically what I’m getting at is that I was ready.

“Come on baby keep pushing you’re doing a great job!” and then I felt a tap from the doctor to take a look. I looked down and I could see the top of my baby girl’s full head of hair. She got that good hair too, shawty ain’t gonna need to get no weave until she like fo’ or figh –please excuse that moment of indulgent ignorance (you have to admit it was kind of funny, though). I digress… ok where was I? Oh yes, the top of my little girls head is now beginning to poke out of an area that I like to affectionately call my little big man’s utopia. To see this birth happening before my eyes is the most amazing, heavenly, Godly thing you could ever bear witness to. All the horror stories of the man passing out in the delivery room are bogus –at least in my situation. Even to my surprise I was not nauseous, faint, or anything of the sort. I was in the moment and then I suddenly see this little purple/lavender rubbery figure come out of my wife. Next, clamps are being placed the jumper cables connecting my wife and daughter and the doctor hands me the scissors and says, “here you go dad.” Most of the time all the credit, during delivery, is given to the woman, but now it’s my time to hold it down for the men…I have my golden moment to encapsulate all the hard work I did and… and… and… I blow it! I was supposed to be cool and snip the umbilical cord in one swift cut and what do I do? I snip and the doctor takes a look and has to say to me, “come on dad you’re gonna have to do better than that.” Yep, I had to double snip. I admit I lost a few cool points, but there wasn’t any getting me down. On August 12, 2010 at 6:08 p.m. Calia Li Yawn came into this world weighing 6 lbs. 14 oz. and standing –okay laying- at an intimidating 19 ¼ inches.

It is official y’all! Mari and I are the proud parents of a beautiful bouncing bundle of baby girl joy. All thanks be to God!