FLAWS AND ALL

WELL!!! Happy New year People! Obviously we've been a little busy over the holidays! But the Holidays are such a time for togetherness, reflection, and love.

As many of you now know, I recently went on the Dr. Oz show with Chris and Calia. That was fun and interesting all at the same time. I was majorly embarrassed to discover that I weighed more than I thought my body was capable of!!! I mean when Dr. Oz said what I weighed and then said " You are obese" I wanted to pass out!!! I NEVER weighed that much before, and never thought I would/could!! But when you keep eating in excess whatever you want and you use pregnancy as an excuse...that is what happens!!

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As I watched the show I remember just thinking, I know ppl from college who saw it were probably like DAAAAAAAANG along with my other friends, haters and whatnot. But I am one to keep it real. So it is what it is.

I went on the show so I could do something about it. I mean they literally called me out of the blue on the VERY day I told my husband I was committed to changing my life/ health/ body. I literally couldn't take it ANY MORE It's one thing to say I need to lose weight and a whole other thing to actually put action behind it and do what you gotta do. So needless to say, this situation makes me HAVE to do what I gotta do. I cant go back there in the same or similar condition!!!!! I have something to prove now!! Besides, After Calia and I met Jennifer Hudson, and saw how good she looked I was really energized!!



Seriously though, since I had the baby I have been through a bit of an identity crisis. This is not something just unique to me. My life changed, my body changed, everything changed in one instant!!! Thousands of mothers go through this. It is a growth and adjusting process. I love being a mom, and my baby was worth EVERY decision I made to make sure she would be a healthy happy baby. But having a baby is NO JOKE! It's a new year and I am a 32 year old woman re-defining/adjusting into who I am now that I am a mother and a wife and a woman getting back into career building mode. That is a trip! I am sometimes in awe of how far I have come in my life and then I shudder to think... what's next......

I have to admit I feel incredibly blessed. Blessed to have a beautiful healthy baby girl that is growing and developing in amazing ways, and truly blessed to have such a loving wonderful and supportive husband.

I often think back to my Hampton University days and how I knew in my heart when I met Chris he was the one, but the fact is that years later I still can't believe that we got together and are where we are right now at this moment in time. As parents and as a loving married couple making it happen in the big city of New York.




One thing I must really say about marriage is when you make up in your mind to be with someone, there is very little you can hide when they are the first person you see in the morning and the last person you see at night. Everything that you used to have that was private is known and seen between the two of you. They see the train wreck in the morning, the mood swings in the afternoon, when you look your worst, when you are your best- THEY SEE .....EVERYTHING! Flaws and ALL. There is no hiding a THING.

Through my pregnancy when I was blowing up like a balloon, he treated me like a queen. When I had the baby and still wasn't quite back to normal he kept encouraging me and letting me know I was still the love of his life. Every Flaw and issue I have had he has shown me so much love and that is amazing. Now everyone may say.. that's what its SUPPOSED to be like. I agree that it is, but I have learned in life that things are not always what they are supposed to be and all that glitters is not gold. But when you get someone who will catch you when you fall, respect you flaws and all that is a feeling a million bucks can't buy.

I recently read an article by Star Jones who is the new editor in chief of UPTOWN magazine. She said she had a fabulous and fierce wedding down to the designer gown, the cathedral church, the celebrity all star attendees, and a who's who wedding party. But she said ..... she would trade it all in for a marriage full of love that was built to last. It's all good when times are great and going good, but when times get hard and everything is not perfect and beautiful the question is will it go the distance?

When you find that you are no longer a size 5, and that you are looking less and less like you did at 19 and 20 something when you started dating, and you know for a fact that your husband is still loving you despite the beautiful available and sexy women in the city of 8 million ppl, that is what you call priceless.

I have come to realize that there are few things in life that really matter at the end of the day. It's not celebrity, status, money, keeping up appearances, or keeping up with the Jones'. It's keeping it real with yourself and doing what you need to do to be where you want to be. It's building a solid foundation and a legacy for your children and accomplishing that by keeping God in the front and center of your life because it is through him that ALL things are possible. After all, he is the original one who loves us flaws and all. Although we don't deserve it his love is unconditional!

So this New Year I realize how far I have come and where I need to go. Being a good mother, wife, losing weight and getting my other flaws in order. I will never be perfect, but it is all coming together bit by bit, piece by piece, and day by day--- and it's all good!