AUGH!!! Ok. So, just like millions of women right now my guilty pleasure television show of the season is "Basketball Wives" on VH1.
It is a show started by Shaunie O'Neal ( Shaquille O'Neal's ex- wife), where she and maybe two other people were even truly a "basketball wife" on the show. However, the reason people even watch this show is to get a glimpse into the lifestyle of women who marry/date/or become a baby mama to these basketball players. The result is a LOT of drama.
Apparently, in this world you are defined by who you are married to/ are dating/ or have a baby by, what designer clothes and shoes you wear, what car you drive, how many red carpet events you go to etc. etc. or you "ARE A NON-F'N FACTOR". Meaning you are useless, irrelevant, unnecessary, and so forth.
Having worked in the music industry I know that world all too well. I was up close and personal with it. People would have probably clamored to get the kind of opportunities I have had. To be in the room with superstars and see the glitz and glamorous behind the scenes things. However, that is another story for another day.
Now, my husband who is not a basketball player attended a red carpet event in one of my jobs. I will never forget it because everybody who was ANYBODY was there! Alicia Keys, Le Bron James, Donald Trump, Serena Williams, Chrisette Michelle, etc. etc. etc. You name it, they were there. So my husband comes and I am introducing him to some of these celebrities and he is like "Oh. Hi. How are you doing?" in a real non-challant way and I'm like "really?"
Apparently to him they were a NON FACTOR...
Now, I am not saying that I wanted him to be like OOOOHHHH, AAAHHHHH, OMG! But I was like you get a chance to get up close and personal with people you only see on T.V. and it's as if it's nothing.
Now personally, I am super social especially when I have a job to do so I made my rounds and connects for my job. However, I know by being in that world that it is mostly smoke and mirrors and everything is not always what it seems.
I am unfortunately reminded of the smoke and mirrors every time I watch "Basketball Wives".
I remember watching the first season when Evelyn Lozada talked about how she was in a relationship for ten years and was engaged only to end up not making it to the alter. She said that she had this basketball boyfriend, a nice house to live in, a nice car to drive, and lots of Louis Vuitton, but she lacked love. Now she is with Chad Ochocinco.
At the time, I thought that was the truest statement I may have ever heard from her. I am not saying that some of these women don't truly fall in love with a super rich successful man and vice versa, but statistically what you end up hearing about are a lot of stories about fame and fortune gone wrong.
You see these super gorgeous women with these unattractive men with position and money and you kind of have a gut instinct on why they at least seem to be together. It is a trade off. Trophy wife for a glamorous lifestyle. What's love got to do with it really?
You might see the couples that really may have married for love only to have the baller husband get insecure(As I feel in my opinion may have been the case of Jennifer and Eric Williams). Basically the baller is fully aware that if his sition and/or money was gone the beautiful woman he wakes up to every morning probably wouldn't even be there... why? Because he would be a NON FACTOR like he was before the fame and fortune! So they end up cheating and doing whatever sabotaging the relationship.
Or there is the story of the girls the up and coming baller really loved in high school and got married to only to allow the pressures of the superficial world for which they live in, to blow up in their faces and cause them to question if the person they actually love is good enough for them by the Hollywood "red carpet" standards to be with only for them to needlessly end what was actually real.
Either case, it makes for an interesting life, or in this situation a television show with great ratings!
Personally, at this time in my life, I do not believe that who you hang with, what label is on your clothes, etc. defines you unless you have absolutely no substance. I only think those things can enhance you and that they attract people who want what you have or what you are perceived to have. Furthermore, if we are to keep it all the way honest most of the people that look like they have so much, really don't have nothing at all. I met someone recently who just meeting them you would never know they have a yearly salary of $800,000.00 and that doesn't even include the perks.
Since I was 14 years old and knew what being a virtuous woman was about via Proverbs 31:10-31, I knew I wanted a marriage of real love, mutual respect, grand aspirations, character, loyalty, etc. I feel I was blessed to achieve that.
Furthermore, being married takes work including understanding, dedication and unconditional love. Regular marriages alone are down by 40% when in the 1950's they were 78%! Mix those numbers in with trying to have a successful marriage with the regular normal pressures of life, extenuating family, and God forbid the sports and/ or music industry.
I read an editorial called "Weddings Vs. Marriage"
To some woman having everything means marrying a baller so they can be a FACTOR by certain standards and some women think that what really matters is having something real. I am the latter. What good is a dead end career if it is superficial and has no relevancy to your real life except stress and confusion? What good is a fake/bad romance with all the money and position in the world when you are left to feel empty inside? Does that make you a FACTOR and/or Relevant? The appearance of success? What does it profit a man to gain the world and lose his soul?
Some people want it all but I don't want nothing at all if ain't real baby- Cause ain't nothing like the real thing..... Anything that is not real in my life at the end of the day is a NON FACTOR B!
That's my word!
Venus- AKA Mari
P.S. I am looking forward to hearing your thoughts....
